Streetsblog San Francisco

Bay to Breakers (B2B) is under attack.  For countless thousands both in San Francisco and around the world, the third Sunday in May has always represented an eclectic mix of athleticism and hedonism, one that no other event in any other city can deliver. But in their crusade to suburbanize our great metropolis, curmudgeons are set on destroying the most beloved of San Francisco traditions.

As currently outlined in bold on the official website, the new "improvements and policies" will undoubtedly crush the joi de vivre of this venerated spectacle.  Bay to Breakers 2009 will feature NO ALCOHOL, NO FLOATS and NO NUDITY.  If the grouches get their way, it will be a lame footrace like any other.  What could prompt such a draconian crackdown?

Naturally, neighbors along the route are upset about rampant urination on their doorsteps.  Last year, organizers hoped to solve this problem by increasing the number of porta-potties from 400 to 500 for 60,000 people! Predictably, thousands of participants concluded that a 15-minute wait, for a hot and smelly stall, held no appeal against the building wall or car tire.  Now, proclaiming that 2008 was "out of control" (despite the fact that there was not a single arrest), organizers have decided to kill the event.

The good news is that there is a simple solution to the urine problem: go in the gutter, not on a building!  San Francisco, unlike most cities, has a combined sewer system.  This means that water that drains into the gutter flows to the treatment plant, where it is processed exactly like everything that goes down the toilet.  Rather than attempt to shame people for answering when nature calls, organizers should instruct participants to relieve themselves in the spot that is designed for it: the gutter.  This would ameliorate the urine issue.

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